Namaste, followers!
I'm sorry I've taken awhile to post. After my surgery, I pretty much just rested a lot.
My diagnosis for endometriosis was confirmed. It was behind my uterus and in front of it and cauterized. I had my surgery Monday. I took a walk outside today but I got very tired afterwards. I still have some swelling and bruising and a lot of fatigue. I feel pretty gross with all the swelling.. Not to mention it's pretty gross to look at my incisions (I have two) but the relief I have is worth it all.
For starters, I no longer need to use the bathroom every 20 minutes! Yay!
I look forward to recovering faster so that I can cook, clean, work, go to the gym and do NORMAL things! Lol! Needing a nap after walking around one block is sad.. Haha! I hate feeling so useless.. I sleep a lot, as I mentioned before. I go to bed pretty early and sleep past noon.. But if my body needs rest I guess that's what I should do! I return to work on Tuesday. I hope I can handle it!
Still having some pain, especially when I wake up in the morning. I had a mild scrape in my throat from the intubation tube that has now ulcerated.. So eating certain foods is painful. I need to go do groceries so I have food for next week. My appetite isn't that great and as I said before.. I can't really cook. It's hard to bend and carry things and stand for long periods of time *rolls eyes* lol!
I hope I'm back to normal next week.
Ciao!
Xoxoxo
Friday, April 8, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Green Light!
Namaste lovelings!
I saw the doctor yesterday and my cold is gone! Yay! So surgery is a go on Monday.
However, I'm struggling to get rid of a late shift I was scheduled to work the night before. I feel dumb for not booking that day off. Never assume you'll get that day off anyways.. Just book it off if you need it.
I can't imagine I'd be very productive at work, worrying about the surgery and stuff like that (that's what I do!). That would make room for error which is very bad. Don't need angry people with screwed up orders on their hands!
Also I have other things I must do.. Like I have to have a shower and wash with a special soap, and I have to stop eating at a certain time so I want to eat as late as I can so I don't wake up famished!
Unfortunately, nobody wants to work from 2:30-10:00pm.. Booo!
Help a poor sick girl out! Lol!
Also, I've been shown a lot of support from people that I wasn't expecting. My family has been awesome, and I've gotten phone calls from friends, including one I haven't spoken to on the phone for almost a year! Wow! They're all showing their support. It brings tears to my eyes! I'm so lucky to have this network of caring people. It makes me feel more at ease.
I'm still having some lower back pain, but not nearly the same calibre it was before where I was wincing to move and in tears. Now it's bearable. I want to go to the muscle store (that's the gym) today to lift as it's the last chance I'll have for awhile. Too bad it's raining.. Blah. I hate walking in the rain but it's not so bad if I wear my thick Fox hoodie. I got caught in a pissing, pouring hailstorm and it never soaked through. Amazing.
Ok I'm going to take off now!
Take care!
Xoxoxoxo
I saw the doctor yesterday and my cold is gone! Yay! So surgery is a go on Monday.
However, I'm struggling to get rid of a late shift I was scheduled to work the night before. I feel dumb for not booking that day off. Never assume you'll get that day off anyways.. Just book it off if you need it.
I can't imagine I'd be very productive at work, worrying about the surgery and stuff like that (that's what I do!). That would make room for error which is very bad. Don't need angry people with screwed up orders on their hands!
Also I have other things I must do.. Like I have to have a shower and wash with a special soap, and I have to stop eating at a certain time so I want to eat as late as I can so I don't wake up famished!
Unfortunately, nobody wants to work from 2:30-10:00pm.. Booo!
Help a poor sick girl out! Lol!
Also, I've been shown a lot of support from people that I wasn't expecting. My family has been awesome, and I've gotten phone calls from friends, including one I haven't spoken to on the phone for almost a year! Wow! They're all showing their support. It brings tears to my eyes! I'm so lucky to have this network of caring people. It makes me feel more at ease.
I'm still having some lower back pain, but not nearly the same calibre it was before where I was wincing to move and in tears. Now it's bearable. I want to go to the muscle store (that's the gym) today to lift as it's the last chance I'll have for awhile. Too bad it's raining.. Blah. I hate walking in the rain but it's not so bad if I wear my thick Fox hoodie. I got caught in a pissing, pouring hailstorm and it never soaked through. Amazing.
Ok I'm going to take off now!
Take care!
Xoxoxoxo
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Backbreaker!
Namaste!
Holy crap!
I know I don't like to whine a lot but..
Whiiiiiiiiiine!!!
Lol!
My endo has found a new place it likes to torture me: my lower back. I woke up this morning with pain in my right hip that moved to my entire low back, with more pain (almost numbing even) going down the front of my thigh. Holy jeeeebus! It hurt so much I cried.
Surgery is scheduled for Monday, so NO anti-inflammatories or blood-thinning meds allowed. I can only take Tylenol which only helps a little bit. I'm popping Extra Strength like it's candy. It doesn't do much. This is very tough.. Especially since I'm also battling a cold which threatens to postpone my surgery. I see my GP tomorrow, hospital calls on Friday.. And hopefully: surgery on Monday.
I want this shit OUT OF MEE!
I've also been spotting today. Perhaps I'm ovulating (I thought I already did that?? Crazy body)
Anyways, back to work time (yes I'm at work during all this! I'm strengthening my inner toughness, even though I'm not too focused or too sharp right now)
*deep breaths, take more Tylenol and go upstairs via elevator*
Lol!
Bye for now!
Holy crap!
I know I don't like to whine a lot but..
Whiiiiiiiiiine!!!
Lol!
My endo has found a new place it likes to torture me: my lower back. I woke up this morning with pain in my right hip that moved to my entire low back, with more pain (almost numbing even) going down the front of my thigh. Holy jeeeebus! It hurt so much I cried.
Surgery is scheduled for Monday, so NO anti-inflammatories or blood-thinning meds allowed. I can only take Tylenol which only helps a little bit. I'm popping Extra Strength like it's candy. It doesn't do much. This is very tough.. Especially since I'm also battling a cold which threatens to postpone my surgery. I see my GP tomorrow, hospital calls on Friday.. And hopefully: surgery on Monday.
I want this shit OUT OF MEE!
I've also been spotting today. Perhaps I'm ovulating (I thought I already did that?? Crazy body)
Anyways, back to work time (yes I'm at work during all this! I'm strengthening my inner toughness, even though I'm not too focused or too sharp right now)
*deep breaths, take more Tylenol and go upstairs via elevator*
Lol!
Bye for now!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
The Welcome Wagon
Ok I have some things to get off my chest!
I went to Manitoba for a week. The trip was fantastic. I left all my problems and worries at home and as a result, I experienced very little to no pain. I only had pain on Monday because I think I may have been ovulating.
I came home on Tuesday, weary from jet lag. I had gotten up in Winnipeg at 5:30am, which at home is 3:30am. Anyone with endometriosis or IBS knows that sudden changes in person's schedule can really mess you up. My IBS flared up the most.
The change in diet (I normally eat the same thing every day and at roughly the same time) and the change in water and sleep cycle caused some very unpleasant bathroom experiences. I already pee every half hour or more depending on the amount of water I drink.. I added going to the bathroom for the "other thing" quite often too! Lol! Ouchie.
Lots of cramping, bloating, and general discomfort.
Well, I got yelled at for "spending too much time in the bathroom" by someone I live with. It made me very upset because said person knows I'm sick. The lack of understanding was very hurtful to me, and the fact that this person had to communicate the fact that I visit the toilet frequently with profanities and such a loud voice also brought me down. I've only been home for two days now and I feel very unwelcome. In fact, I feel "homesick" for a place that wasn't even my home!
I'm depressed, and unmotivated to do anything. My appetite is gone, my stomach hurts, I cry a lot.. I'm very tired. It's so unfortunate to feel unwelcome in your own home. Like a burden or an intruder. I don't like having to use the bathroom all the time either. It was especially hard while I was traveling.
I know I'm probably not a burden on my family, but it's very hard for me to ask for help. Surgery is upcoming and I'm going to need assistance. Will it annoy them if I need help with things? I honestly have no idea. I'm nervous about the post-op recovery rather than the surgery itself. My family will also be leaving for 5 days around Easter so I'll be home by myself during that time. I hope I'm okay by then.
I hope I start feeling better soon. I was so happy and energetic on my trip. I don't feel like myself at home..
I went to Manitoba for a week. The trip was fantastic. I left all my problems and worries at home and as a result, I experienced very little to no pain. I only had pain on Monday because I think I may have been ovulating.
I came home on Tuesday, weary from jet lag. I had gotten up in Winnipeg at 5:30am, which at home is 3:30am. Anyone with endometriosis or IBS knows that sudden changes in person's schedule can really mess you up. My IBS flared up the most.
The change in diet (I normally eat the same thing every day and at roughly the same time) and the change in water and sleep cycle caused some very unpleasant bathroom experiences. I already pee every half hour or more depending on the amount of water I drink.. I added going to the bathroom for the "other thing" quite often too! Lol! Ouchie.
Lots of cramping, bloating, and general discomfort.
Well, I got yelled at for "spending too much time in the bathroom" by someone I live with. It made me very upset because said person knows I'm sick. The lack of understanding was very hurtful to me, and the fact that this person had to communicate the fact that I visit the toilet frequently with profanities and such a loud voice also brought me down. I've only been home for two days now and I feel very unwelcome. In fact, I feel "homesick" for a place that wasn't even my home!
I'm depressed, and unmotivated to do anything. My appetite is gone, my stomach hurts, I cry a lot.. I'm very tired. It's so unfortunate to feel unwelcome in your own home. Like a burden or an intruder. I don't like having to use the bathroom all the time either. It was especially hard while I was traveling.
I know I'm probably not a burden on my family, but it's very hard for me to ask for help. Surgery is upcoming and I'm going to need assistance. Will it annoy them if I need help with things? I honestly have no idea. I'm nervous about the post-op recovery rather than the surgery itself. My family will also be leaving for 5 days around Easter so I'll be home by myself during that time. I hope I'm okay by then.
I hope I start feeling better soon. I was so happy and energetic on my trip. I don't feel like myself at home..
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Toughing It Out
Namaste!
It's been a tough 13 days! I'm sorry I haven't blogged. For the first week of March, I decided to take extra hours at work. I ended up working a 6 day week so that I have enough money to buffer the financial burden of taking time off to go to Manitoba for vacation (which was booked before my surgery was) and then time off for surgery/recovery.
I've been overworked, over-stressed, and in a lot of pain needless to say.
I celebrated my birthday on the 8th, and struggled. I had to get some chores done beforehand like grocery shopping and I couldn't believe how exhausted I was. I had a really good day, but I was just dragging my feet because of how tired I was. I was like that for most of the week.
Then a few days ago, the bloating started. My belly puffs out a lot and I sometimes look pregnant. I hide under baggy sweaters and wear yoga pants so it doesn't put pressure on my tender belly. I've also had sharp pain in my ovaries (left one mostly) and the pain goes down my left leg. I've also had what feels like menstrual cramps. I take my Advil every 4 hours but it only takes care of some of the pain.
I'm nervous to be going on a trip in 3 days cuz I haven't travelled as an "endometriosis patient."
I'm worried about being in pain, I'm worried about finding restrooms since I go so often.. I'm worried about getting sick!
I need to RELAX!
I'll be okay.
I really need this vacation. Visit friends. Have fun. Forget about work, surgery, and at-home drama. That's the whole point of "going away" right??
I hope I feel better soon.
I go to the hospital tomorrow morning/afternoon for my pre-surgical clinic. I get to pee in cups. Yay! Lol!
Goodnight lovies!
It's been a tough 13 days! I'm sorry I haven't blogged. For the first week of March, I decided to take extra hours at work. I ended up working a 6 day week so that I have enough money to buffer the financial burden of taking time off to go to Manitoba for vacation (which was booked before my surgery was) and then time off for surgery/recovery.
I've been overworked, over-stressed, and in a lot of pain needless to say.
I celebrated my birthday on the 8th, and struggled. I had to get some chores done beforehand like grocery shopping and I couldn't believe how exhausted I was. I had a really good day, but I was just dragging my feet because of how tired I was. I was like that for most of the week.
Then a few days ago, the bloating started. My belly puffs out a lot and I sometimes look pregnant. I hide under baggy sweaters and wear yoga pants so it doesn't put pressure on my tender belly. I've also had sharp pain in my ovaries (left one mostly) and the pain goes down my left leg. I've also had what feels like menstrual cramps. I take my Advil every 4 hours but it only takes care of some of the pain.
I'm nervous to be going on a trip in 3 days cuz I haven't travelled as an "endometriosis patient."
I'm worried about being in pain, I'm worried about finding restrooms since I go so often.. I'm worried about getting sick!
I need to RELAX!
I'll be okay.
I really need this vacation. Visit friends. Have fun. Forget about work, surgery, and at-home drama. That's the whole point of "going away" right??
I hope I feel better soon.
I go to the hospital tomorrow morning/afternoon for my pre-surgical clinic. I get to pee in cups. Yay! Lol!
Goodnight lovies!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
No Room For Negativity!!
Namaste lovies!!
Its been a bit of a moody week. I've had a very annoying cold for about two weeks now. The one with the cough, stuffy nose, and kermit voice! Yup! Still got it! It's a bit daunting, as it sometimes keeps me awake at night. The cold is screwing with my ability to think clearly, and sometimes, I have to take medicines so I can breathe better but unfortunately, cloud my focus..
it was brought to my attention today that I sounded "drunk" Lol!
I rarely drink alcoholic beverages.. Must be that cough medicine! Be careful! Read labels.
The downside is I haven't been to the gym since I came down with the cold.. This has also affected my mood. I've also been in pain and I've experienced some hormonal fluctuations.. It feels like I'm ovulating but I can't be because I just finished menses last week. I experienced what felt like ovulation pain 2 days after my period ended. Last night I ended up with a coughing fit which left both ovaries in pain. It felt like something inside me was being pulled and even walking was difficult. I was at work when this happened. Took two Advil and kept going!
Perhaps I'm a martyr.. But I prefer to think I enjoy distraction.
Some exciting news: March is Endometriosis Awareness Month! March 7th to 14th is International Endometriosis Awareness Week! On the first day of March, wear a yellow shirt to show your support.. Or perhaps a yellow ribbon!
Not enough people know about this disease and how it affects those who suffer from it. It's a common illness, affecting anywhere between 5-10% of women during their reproductive years. Maybe with enough support and awareness, we can find a cure!
I'm currently experiencing one of the most frustrating aspects of endometriosis: a suppressed immune system!! Hence why I've been sick with a cold virus for so long.
I hope I get over it soon.
Some other exciting plans for March: I'm going on a trip! Yup! To Manitoba to visit some dear friends of mine. My best friend used to live there but recently moved to Australia. I was very sad about this, but didn't talk about it much.. I'm still determined to go and have fun. I wish I could see my best friend, but that will have to wait for another time. Meanwhile, we will keep in touch!
It's also my birthday on the 8th, but I'm not really excited about it. I tend to get a little depressed around my birthday.. I think because I'm not where I thought I'd be in life. Don't get me wrong, I love my job.. But its not a career.. I also can't live off it.. So I have no assets, and I live in the basement of my mom's house and pay $300 a month for rent. It's all I can afford.
I figured I'd be married by now, maybe even have kids. I'm single, and may never even have kids in the future. I haven't even dated in several months. No time really.
That's ok. I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm just saying: this isn't what I had planned. Nobody plans on a recession, or going to the wrong college, or getting sick. It just happens. They're hurdles in life. If shit didn't happen, I wouldn't be as nearly as strong as I am today!
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
In any case, March will be an exciting month! Also April, with upcoming surgery. I'm making plans as to which video games I want to play during my recovery! Heeheehee :3
I'm also hoping for warmer weather, and an end to dry skin/eczema! *scratch scratch scratch*
Lol!
Goodnight, readers!
Xoxoxo
M.
Its been a bit of a moody week. I've had a very annoying cold for about two weeks now. The one with the cough, stuffy nose, and kermit voice! Yup! Still got it! It's a bit daunting, as it sometimes keeps me awake at night. The cold is screwing with my ability to think clearly, and sometimes, I have to take medicines so I can breathe better but unfortunately, cloud my focus..
it was brought to my attention today that I sounded "drunk" Lol!
I rarely drink alcoholic beverages.. Must be that cough medicine! Be careful! Read labels.
The downside is I haven't been to the gym since I came down with the cold.. This has also affected my mood. I've also been in pain and I've experienced some hormonal fluctuations.. It feels like I'm ovulating but I can't be because I just finished menses last week. I experienced what felt like ovulation pain 2 days after my period ended. Last night I ended up with a coughing fit which left both ovaries in pain. It felt like something inside me was being pulled and even walking was difficult. I was at work when this happened. Took two Advil and kept going!
Perhaps I'm a martyr.. But I prefer to think I enjoy distraction.
Some exciting news: March is Endometriosis Awareness Month! March 7th to 14th is International Endometriosis Awareness Week! On the first day of March, wear a yellow shirt to show your support.. Or perhaps a yellow ribbon!
Not enough people know about this disease and how it affects those who suffer from it. It's a common illness, affecting anywhere between 5-10% of women during their reproductive years. Maybe with enough support and awareness, we can find a cure!
I'm currently experiencing one of the most frustrating aspects of endometriosis: a suppressed immune system!! Hence why I've been sick with a cold virus for so long.
I hope I get over it soon.
Some other exciting plans for March: I'm going on a trip! Yup! To Manitoba to visit some dear friends of mine. My best friend used to live there but recently moved to Australia. I was very sad about this, but didn't talk about it much.. I'm still determined to go and have fun. I wish I could see my best friend, but that will have to wait for another time. Meanwhile, we will keep in touch!
It's also my birthday on the 8th, but I'm not really excited about it. I tend to get a little depressed around my birthday.. I think because I'm not where I thought I'd be in life. Don't get me wrong, I love my job.. But its not a career.. I also can't live off it.. So I have no assets, and I live in the basement of my mom's house and pay $300 a month for rent. It's all I can afford.
I figured I'd be married by now, maybe even have kids. I'm single, and may never even have kids in the future. I haven't even dated in several months. No time really.
That's ok. I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm just saying: this isn't what I had planned. Nobody plans on a recession, or going to the wrong college, or getting sick. It just happens. They're hurdles in life. If shit didn't happen, I wouldn't be as nearly as strong as I am today!
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
In any case, March will be an exciting month! Also April, with upcoming surgery. I'm making plans as to which video games I want to play during my recovery! Heeheehee :3
I'm also hoping for warmer weather, and an end to dry skin/eczema! *scratch scratch scratch*
Lol!
Goodnight, readers!
Xoxoxo
M.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Hopes, Dreams, and Acceptance
Namaste!
I'm writing to you from the comforts of my warm bed!! Such a luxury!! :)
I'm in a bit of pain though, so I'm not feeling too warm and fuzzy at the moment. It started about an hour or two ago on my right side.. It's like the pain I get when I ovulate but not as intense. It's still bothersome though.
I just ended my period yesterday.. It's odd for me to have this pain now.
Just more questions that will have to be answered after my surgery. I'm kinda glad I'm getting it now. Last night I couldn't sleep because of anxiety.
I'm over the whole scarring issue.. I just worried about my financial situation last night. Not even thinking about the positive things. First of all: I will know for certain what is wrong. How much endometriosis there is, how much damage was done, and how to treat it further after surgery.
Secondly: I'll be in less pain. No more curling up in bed holding my belly and grimacing in pain. No more tears.. No more cancelling events or calling in "sick" at work because of severe pelvic pain. No more popping pain medications like candy and getting frustrated when they don't work. No more being woken up by seering pain in the middle of the night..
I'm fully aware endometriosis comes back.. But at least I'll be pain-free for awhile and figure out an effective treatment plan for the future.
Last night I had this awful dream that I woke up from surgery and the doctor told me I had severe endometriosis - stage IV, and that I'd never have children, and that it was "everywhere".. On my bladder, bowel, ovaries, fallopian tubes and behind the uterus. In my dream they had to cut it all out and they operated on me for a long time. It seemed so real..
Definitely not something I should think about before bed! Lol!
Every month the pain gets worse and I know that the disease is spreading and causing more problems.. I need this surgery for that reason. I will be okay.. If I fall behind on my bills a little bit, I can make more money and pay them back. If I get a few scars, that's okay. I can live with that.. I don't want to be sick all the time and always in pain. I want to enjoy life.
I'm going to take some pain medications and try to sleep. My right side hurts a lot now.. It's radiating into my hip, and down the front of my leg sometimes.
The most annoying part about this illness?? My bladder. Last night I had to pee every 20 minutes (I timed it) and this lasted for an hour and a half. I didn't get to sleep til after 2am. The only thing I drank was a small cup of juice with my multivitamin last night at around 11:30pm.
Now I have to take a pill again and drink water with it! Ahhh my bladder won't like that! Stupid annoying thing!
Wish me luck!
Goodnight!
Xoxoxo
M.
I'm writing to you from the comforts of my warm bed!! Such a luxury!! :)
I'm in a bit of pain though, so I'm not feeling too warm and fuzzy at the moment. It started about an hour or two ago on my right side.. It's like the pain I get when I ovulate but not as intense. It's still bothersome though.
I just ended my period yesterday.. It's odd for me to have this pain now.
Just more questions that will have to be answered after my surgery. I'm kinda glad I'm getting it now. Last night I couldn't sleep because of anxiety.
I'm over the whole scarring issue.. I just worried about my financial situation last night. Not even thinking about the positive things. First of all: I will know for certain what is wrong. How much endometriosis there is, how much damage was done, and how to treat it further after surgery.
Secondly: I'll be in less pain. No more curling up in bed holding my belly and grimacing in pain. No more tears.. No more cancelling events or calling in "sick" at work because of severe pelvic pain. No more popping pain medications like candy and getting frustrated when they don't work. No more being woken up by seering pain in the middle of the night..
I'm fully aware endometriosis comes back.. But at least I'll be pain-free for awhile and figure out an effective treatment plan for the future.
Last night I had this awful dream that I woke up from surgery and the doctor told me I had severe endometriosis - stage IV, and that I'd never have children, and that it was "everywhere".. On my bladder, bowel, ovaries, fallopian tubes and behind the uterus. In my dream they had to cut it all out and they operated on me for a long time. It seemed so real..
Definitely not something I should think about before bed! Lol!
Every month the pain gets worse and I know that the disease is spreading and causing more problems.. I need this surgery for that reason. I will be okay.. If I fall behind on my bills a little bit, I can make more money and pay them back. If I get a few scars, that's okay. I can live with that.. I don't want to be sick all the time and always in pain. I want to enjoy life.
I'm going to take some pain medications and try to sleep. My right side hurts a lot now.. It's radiating into my hip, and down the front of my leg sometimes.
The most annoying part about this illness?? My bladder. Last night I had to pee every 20 minutes (I timed it) and this lasted for an hour and a half. I didn't get to sleep til after 2am. The only thing I drank was a small cup of juice with my multivitamin last night at around 11:30pm.
Now I have to take a pill again and drink water with it! Ahhh my bladder won't like that! Stupid annoying thing!
Wish me luck!
Goodnight!
Xoxoxo
M.
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