Ten Things I Hate About Endo!!

Hi readers! It's been a rough couple of days here. I had two days off from work and wouldn't you know it? I get my period. However, I'm thankful I got it on my days off because I don't think I could have worked through that kind of pain! Yesterday wasn't so bad. It was a beautiful day and I decided to go for a bike ride. It was a lot of fun. I went to the park, did trails, rode around the neighborhood, climbed hills.. Unfortunately I was greeted at home with immense pain afterwards.. But I didn't let it get me down!
Then the next day I was extremely fatigued. I felt drained all day long and the pain was intense. I found it difficult to get out of bed. I was horizontal for most of the day, drifting in and out.. Drowsing and struggling to stay awake. Advil helped take the edge off but not as much as curling up in bed.

Which brings me to the number one thing I hate about endo. The first one is a no-brainer: PAIN! Endometriosis is all about pain. I mean, you have lesions growing inside you. Benign growths, sometimes masses, chocolate cysts, or "tumors". They bleed, they cause inflammation, scarring, adhesions and for lack of a better term "fuck shit up." I had my growths removed surgically.. However, removing endometriosis is like removing cancer: sometimes a few cells get left behind.. And they grow and form more cells until they become masses. Then you have a problem all over again.
My doctor wants to start me on continuous progestin treatment. Over the course of several months I will not get a period. The lining of my uterus will shrink. The drug will cause atrophy. This also causes endometriosis cells to shrink and become inactive.. Much like my uterus or what I like to call it: my "broken oven."
Which brings me to number two:
Infertility. After my diagnosis and surgery I continue to go through a grieving process. I went through depression already, now I'm on anger. I'm on a "I don't give a shit if I can't have kids because I don't want any" kick. However I dislike children altogether and have bitter feelings towards young couples who are starting families. Immature? Yes. Petty? You better believe it. But this is how I'm dealing with it, so let it go. This feeling will pass. It's better than denial, which I've already gone through. The whole "I'm not sick, I'm fine, I don't need drugs" bit. That didn't go over well. My endo is growing back because of that. I went through guilt already. I punished myself thinking I "deserve" this disease and isolated myself from people. I haven't bargained yet.. I don't think there's any negotiating with this illness.

Number three: This Disease has NO CURE.

That's right folks, I'm stuck with it for life. I'll take lots of drugs, have surgeries, probably end up getting a hysterectomy in the future.. And what good does it do? It's all temporary relief. There's no cure and the treatment options are pretty lousy. I'm a stronger person for having this illness though. I rarely, if ever, let it get in the way of my life. I just wish the hormones didn't have such horrible side effects..

Number Four: Fatigue
Ok the fatigue used to be number two but now it's number four because ever since I started exercising again I've had more energy.. Except for today. I used to have to drag my ass around every day. I couldn't stay awake for longer than 12 hours at a time because I was so godawfully tired as hell. During menses I feel like this. Other times I seem to be okay.

Number five: Digestive problems.

I have IBS: Irritable Bowel Syndrome AND endometriosis. When I am about to get a period, I get sick. I have stomachaches, cramping, bloating, and I have to go the bathroom more often. Not a fun time. I have to watch everything I eat so I don't get sick all the time. It's good because I eat healthy and stay trim. It sucks because I can't eat a lot of foods. It takes getting used to..

Number Six: Hormonal imbalances. These cause acne, mood-swings, temperature fluctuations (not hot flashes but sometimes I'm cold when it's not, or too warm when it isn't), my hair falls out more than it should, skin is either too oily or too dry.. So frustrating!

Number Seven: Random inflammation of my saliva glands/lymph nodes in the neck. I don't know if this is endo-related or not but it happens a lot and it sucks!

Number Eight: Water Retention: Pants fit. Pants don't fit.. Pants fit! Pants no longer fit.. Hey my pants fit! Dammit they don't fit.. Etc etc etc

Number Nine: ALLERGIES! Endometriosis will fuck around with your immune system and make you allergic to shit right out of the blue.

Number Ten: Immune function: gettin sick a lot is never fun. I combat this by eating well, resting, and exercising.

So that's ten things I hate about endo. I'm sure there's more. I tweet about them all the time :P

Lol!