Friday, August 9, 2013

Put To The Test

So, for the past little while I've been working with my gyne to help curb the weird menopausal symptoms I've been having. Well, after being off the Visanne for a little while I got some bleeding. It hurt really bad and it made me extremely tired. After a week of it, I couldn't take it anymore and went back on it hoping to stop the bleeding. Well, it did for a few days, and then it came back. I've been bleeding again for I think 4-5 days. The thing is, it isn't normal blood. The entire time it has been extremely dark brown, very thick, and full of tissue clots. I apologize if this is really gross. Picture a beach with perfectly round stones shimmering in the water. Now imagine dolphins. *squeak squeak*. I'm sorry I put you through that.

Okay, so I will start with my stomach issues. Since July 20th, I've kept a food diary. The point in me starting this food diary was to see how much I was eating. The answer turned out to be: not a heck of a lot. I have daily nausea and experience a feeling of fullness after eating even a little. I feel worse after eating. I figured that maybe it was my IBS flaring up but this feels different. Last weekend, it got so bad that I actually thought I had the flu. I could not stomach anything. I struggle to get more than 1100 calories into my body a day. Just one month ago I was extremely active and feeling great. Now I can barely feed myself. I don't understand. So, I went to the doctor.

My list of complaints: nausea, bloating, feelings of fullness, fatigue (I didn't mention this earlier but holy crap. I am so damn tired. ALL THE TIME!) I feel like I have a cyst on my ovary.
My doctor told me the symptoms I have are not symptoms of an ovarian cyst. He got kind of a concerned look on his face. He tells me he's sending me for an ultrasound. "Oh great. Another one." I think to myself.
I go to the front and they make the appointment as I'm standing there. This is odd because usually, they make the appointment and then give me a call later to let me know when it is. Apparently it's quite urgent that I get this done. I'm booked for a month from today. That is pretty quick, actually, for this town. The shortest I've had to wait in the past is 3 months.
I know these symptoms I'm having are weird. What's weirder is how quickly my doctor suddenly wants tests done and how fast he said he wanted me to have them done. I didn't even finish my list of complaints yet. I just said I feel like I have a cyst on my ovary and I can't eat.
I dunno if I'm being paranoid here but I think I'm being screened for cancer. Ovarian cancer. The doctor didn't use the "c" word himself but did say that he wanted to look for "abnormalities". I probably just have IBS and whacked out hormones from being on again off again with the Visanne.  However, the more I experience the fatigue and feelings of nausea and general unwellness, the more I worry. I'm trying to be nonchalant about it. I try going about my daily life.. the problem is, I'm too sick and too tired to do it. I went rock climbing yesterday and normally that makes me feel rejuvenated and boosts my appetite. Today, I'm a zombie. I've been in bed all day. This is just so weird. It feels like a dream. How do i tell my parents? My boyfriend? My boss? My co-workers? I sure hope I feel better soon and that this whole testing thing ends up being for nothing.

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