Emotional Aftermath

Today marks exactly 4 weeks since my surgery.
I knew what to expect physically, but nobody told me what the emotional aftermath would be like.
I'm aware that many endometriosis patients suffer from depression. I'm no different. It's not uncommon to go through a grieving process after been diagnosed. All your fears of having something wrong with you are confirmed. Any flicker of hope that everything is fine start to disappear and it's time to come to terms with the fact that you have a disease that has no cure.

The worst part about endometriosis is the infertility. No matter what stage you're in, there's a chance you may never have a family. Women with stage IV are more likely to be infertile due to adhesions, scar tissue, and deep lesions damaging the reproductive organs.. But it doesn't explain the infertility in women with mild to moderate cases of endometriosis.
Some theories state that the immune system is involved somehow.. Others state that the endometriosis lesions, even the microscopic ones, release hormones that interfere with conception. Some women can only have one child.. Some can't have any.. And some become pregnant but miscarry every time.

The infertility rate is around 30-40%, making endometriosis the leading cause of infertility. About 10% of women of reproductive age have been diagnosed with endometriosis. The spontaneous abortion rate is a staggering 50%.. So those women who try for years to have children end up not being able to keep a pregnancy.
Awful isn't it?
All these numbers are swirling around my head.. The studies have been confirmed by numberous endometriosis associations. The only thing unconfirmed is why it happens.

I'm 25 years old. I'm single. I haven't been in a long-term relationship in over a year. I'm now learning that I may never have children. It's hard to communicate my feelings with people.. Especially my family as they don't seem to believe me. They're excited over all the other pregnancies going on with their friends, neighbors, and other relatives that they haven't taken much notice to my recent melancholy.

I spent the last two weeks working as hard as I can to try and forget. It works too, but as soon as I come home I'm back to where I was before. Depressed.. Unmotivated, and feeling sorry for myself. I don't like being so pathetic, but I have no idea how to handle it. All I do is think about how much I want to find someone special and have a family of my own. All I do is think about how sick I am, and what's going to happen next. I feel like nobody wants a sick girlfriend so I'm reluctant to start dating again. The last boyfriend I had broke my heart severely and blamed it on my illness.

I don't know what to do at this point. I feel very alone. I used to be so happy and optimistic, and it's evident when looking at my previous postings.
I need help but I don't know where to find it.