What's New With Me?

Some exciting stuff going on with me.. More depression, but not as much as before. I find I feel better when I spend only minimal amounts of time at home.

I usually leave in the early afternoon and return after everyones gone to bed to avoid conflicts.. However, I cannot hide from the written word.
It seems if any family member is angry at me because I didn't do something, or I did something wrong, I get a letter about it. Sometimes a note posted to my door, other times, an angry facebook message or text. I thought I was making everyone happier by just staying away. Apparently not.
I was home all day on Monday but nobody made a conscious effort to confront me about an issue with me closing my bedroom door. Unbeknownst to me, the cats try to "claw" their way inside my room when the door is shut. This caused conflict and resulted in a threat via written letter that I either keep the door open, or it comes off it's hinges.

Immature? I thought so.

I was dealing with my depression rather successfully for the past two weeks. I'm working towards a job promotion I think I deserve. I've worked with the same company for two years, and I have maintained excellent attendance and productivity throughout my employment. Tomorrow I have an interview.

My fear is that if I don't get the job, that I will spiral into a dark depression even worse than the one I just climbed out of. I don't take bad news lightly. In fact, I mentally beat myself up over it for months. It's bad enough my family thinks I'm a failure.

Ever since the surgery they've grown increasingly distant. Especially my mom. I have no idea why. I guess the idea that I have a "disease" is too much for them to deal with.. And it's easier to just not deal with me. I have endometriosis, but endometriosis does NOT have ME.

Instead of pursuing meaningless relationships I've decided to channel my energy into my job. Working makes me happy. It makes me feel accomplished.. It makes me feel useful. It's my only responsibility and it's one I take very seriously. I know if I work hard that I can accomplish anything. Other people seem to have a difficult time understanding that. Most 25 year old women want a husband and a baby. Not me. I've come to face reality that I'm not having a family. I've accepted that.
And I'm okay with it.

Now post-op details:
My period is 8 days late.. And my pain has mysteriously disappeared. I have the odd "ghost cramp" which feels like a mild cramp but comes and goes at spontaneous intervals. I'm anxious for it to start because when my period starts, I can start the hormone treatment.
I've had mood swings and fatigue but no other symptoms. I'm not sure if this is normal or not. I guess if it continues for another month or so I'll call my doctor.